Are Dating Apps Ruining Relationships?

The internet can be one of the best places to meet someone.

It’s not easy to start a conversation with someone you see in a cafe. But if you like someone online, you can simply slide into their DMs. Many people who are not even looking for relationships create accounts on dating apps to see what’s actually out there.

But lately, there have been many people online talking about their awful experiences on such apps. While these apps seem convenient to look for a new partner, there are many people who are having awful experiences on these apps.

Are dating apps ruining relationships and the entire dating culture in general?

Benefits of Dating Apps

These apps have many benefits. When you move to a new city or a country where you don’t know anyone, dating apps are one of the best ways to meet someone new. These apps can also be great for people who are shy and struggle to strike up conversations with strangers.

When the pandemic hit, lots of people turned to dating apps to find love. Because how else are we going to find our soulmates, right? However, if you’re looking for something serious, being on a dating app can be annoying sometimes. It is easy to get frustrated while swiping through dating apps and still not making meaningful connections.

Don’t worry. It’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Our dating apps have created a culture where meaningful connections don’t actually mean a lot to most people.

So, what’s really wrong with these apps?

People are boring

As soon as you first download a dating app, you’ll figure out how most people are not interested in dating at all.

There are people who may become your match but won’t really respond to your messages. It’s very difficult to make a meaningful connection with someone who doesn’t even want to talk to you.

There are some who will reply but with only be one-word sentences.

There are some people who you can only have generic conversations about the weather.

There are people who are absolutely hateful for no reason. After talking to them for a moment, you’ll wonder why they even swiped right in the first place.

A lot of people use these apps for validation, not because they are really interested in getting to know someone. When they get many matches on a dating app, they feel like they are at the top of the world. When they don’t, their ego gets hurt.

There are some people who are actually looking for an instant sexual release so they’re trying to be nice to you for the moment. But once they find out you’re not really looking for a hookup, they’ll disappear.

Of course, it’s better that they are honest about what they want because then you don’t end up wasting time with them.

(Also read: Does Love Have to Last Forever For It To Be True Love?)

People are liars

It’s easy to lie, cheat and ghost online. And people use this to their advantage and lie about themselves.

When we create our dating profiles, we often tend to overestimate our good qualities. Looks matter a lot on dating apps. Actually, more than looks what matters is how you take your photos. This can make our profiles misleading. Not only are we judging someone on only a few pictures and a short bio, but we are also judging someone on misleading information.

Some people don’t even write their own bios. They just copy them from somewhere on the internet. Some people don’t even read bios, they just judge their potential matches based on their pictures.

Maybe some of these people are better in life than their profile seems to indicate, maybe they are worse. In most cases, we won’t find out because we can’t go out with every person on a dating app.

The Hookup Culture

We live in the kind of world where it’s easier to find someone to hook up with rather than someone to pursue a relationship with. While I am not against hooking up, I definitely feel it has affected the way people date.

I get it, emotions are messy and not everyone wants to deal with that. People would rather have fun for a night than get into something long-term.

However, the more options we have, the less we value our connections. Why would anyone want to talk to the same person when they can talk to five more at the same time?

Having more options is not always a good thing though. Have you ever browsed Netflix for hours and still not been able to find a good show to watch? Dating apps can be like that sometimes.

They give you the hope that someone out there is better than the one you’re talking to. So you are never really satisfied and keep looking for more.

(Also read: 10 Green Flags in a Relationship That Tell You You're Dating the Right Person)

It is still possible to find love on a dating app

I know I have been a negative Nancy so far but I still think it’s possible to find true love on a dating app. I have heard of people who’ve found their partners on dating apps and married them. But those cases are rare.

I am not a man so I am not too familiar with their struggles on dating apps. However, I have heard many men complain that they don’t get enough matches. I have heard many women complain that they get too many messages and most of them are crass, sexually explicit messages that put them off dating apps altogether.

Because of these problems, you need to be patient and more tolerant of a dating app.

Like most people, I’d love to find my partner the old-fashioned way. But it’s not easy. Especially when the world is in flux and no one knows where they are going to end up. This is why I know that online dating is not going anywhere anytime soon.

We have to make peace with this new online dating culture, whether we like it or not.


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Hi there! I am Vidhipssa. I will help you begin your journey toward embracing the true joys of life.