How I Learnt to Love Myself + Tips for Self-Love

“When did loving yourself become so rare that it’s revolutionary to do so?”

Question: Do you love yourself?

It hurts me to say this but not many people love themselves enough. We are going to spend our lives with ourselves. Our friends will move on, some of our loved ones will die. But the only person who’ll be constant in your life will always be you.

Then tell me. Why are you at war with yourself?

What is self-love anyway?

For me, self-love means being confident in who you are, truly embracing who you are. It means accepting all your ‘flaws’ and not seeing them as flaws at all.

It means looking into the mirror and trusting the person you are seeing, trusting your journey. Not being harsh on yourself, not forcing yourself to do things simply because you think you should do them.

There’s a time for everything. And if something’s not happening right now doesn’t mean it never will. Being patient is not easy but it’s important.

Self-love means finally being at peace with yourself despite what everyone tells you. It feels like coming home to yourself and it’s really important that we all come home to ourselves.

What does self-love mean to you?

When do you need self-love?

It’s something you need all the time, to be honest. But particularly, when things aren’t going right for you, you need it the most. Usually, we tend to curse ourselves when life is not going the way we want. We think it’s something we did that made life turn out this way. But life is always going to have ups and downs. Cursing yourself won’t help.

At your lowest point in life, it is self-love that will help you build back your life.

If you’re insecure and underconfident, it’s going to show on your face. I hate to say this but people are going to underestimate you if you’re not secure in being who you are. Self-love is how you learn to leave your mark in the world.

Tips to Embrace Self-Love

Take Care Of Yourself

Personal grooming is one of the best ways to cultivate self-love. It is not just about baths and slathering yourself with an expensive body wash. It’s paying attention to your wants and needs. It’s about making sure that all your wants are fulfilled and you’re not ignoring the things your body and mind are asking from you.

It means taking care of yourself and doing it well. Because if we don’t take care of ourselves, then who would?

Set Boundaries

Sometimes we spread ourselves too thin simply to cater to the needs of people around us. It’s good to be mindful of our friends and loved ones but we need to know when we’re pushing our own boundaries.

It can be difficult to say no to someone but it’s something we all have to learn at some point. You should always be your own priority. Always.

Setting your boundaries will help you respect yourself. It means you understand how important you are and you are not going to let anyone else make you forget that.

Listen to Your Future Self

Do things your future and past self will be proud of you. When confused, ask yourself: Will this make me proud of myself in the future?

Instead of future validation, you should listen to yourself when you need help.

Be Who You Are

When we meet new people, we tend to act like a different person simply to fit in. However, I don’t think that’s healthy at all. You should be just the way you are and the right people will love you.

Once you truly are comforted in being who you are, you’ll eventually fall in love with yourself.

No One Cares

You know those mistakes that your brain keeps playing over and over again? Those embarrassing moments that you just can’t seem to forget? Good news, no one remembers them.

No one really cares about you at all.

I know this sounds harsh but it’s the truth. The people who love you will love you regardless. And the people who dislike you will find a way to dislike you no matter what you do. So just let go of everything and just be yourself.

My Journey

I wish I could say that I was born loving myself but I wasn’t. In fact, for a very long time in my life, I have been at war with myself. I have hated my body, the way I looked, the way I was. I have been so insecure and I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that I am not the worst person in the world.

The changing point in my life was when I met the right friends. I know we shouldn’t be relying on external validation too much but meeting the right people and becoming friends with them really assured me. Because my friends liked me. Me! They thought I was cool and funny and they respected me.

I had never felt that way about myself but seeing my friends love me made me start loving myself.

Of course, now I am much more confident in who I am. So confident that I don’t need anyone else to tell me that I am worthy of love. But my journey began with making the right friends.


To conclude, here are something that will help you learn to love yourself more.

  • Self-love and acceptance take time. Be patient.

  • You will have ups and downs, there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a journey.

  • Be a friend to yourself. Would you ever be as mean to your friend as you are to yourself?

  • Your self-worth isn’t determined by what others think of you.

  • Journal. Process those emotions.

  • Take a break when the world feels overwhelming.

  • Go easy on yourself.

Good luck on this new journey.


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Hi there! I am Vidhipssa. I will help you begin your journey toward embracing the true joys of life.